Valentine’s seems to be one of the few seasons where you suddenly become aware of your relationship status. For some, single or in a relationship, it ‘s an enjoyable period. For other’s it can feel overwhelming, lonely and disheartening. This is the group of people I am speaking to today. Not to make you feel stupid but to love on you, encourage you and hopefully set your heart back to peace again. In this post I will be asking you a series of questions and I want you to deeply think, consider and meditate on them. Most importantly I want you to be truthful to yourself regarding the answers. It’s when you are honest to yourself, even when it’s ugly, that you can pursue truth.
1. Do you compare yourself with others?
“Comparison is the thief of joy” is a saying that I believe holds a lot of weight. What comparison will make you do is diminish all the amazing things that are happening in your life and covet something that another individual has. Comparison will make you feel less than nothing and cause you to become discontent with your portion. In the rise of social media, it is very easy to see other people in a relationship and become disheartened. If this is something you have been dealing with, I implore you to no longer compare your season with another. Yes there are things that you might not currently have, but what I want you to do is praise God for the things you do have. Praise God until the Spirit of heaviness and discontentment shifts. Thank God for life, breath, family, friends, sight and all the other things that are allotted to you. Those things are gifts and the moment you view them as such is the moment joy and contentment will come to your heart again.
2. Perhaps it just isn’t time?
Marriage is a beautiful God ordained institution and there is such a thing as a godly desire for marriage. However, we do need to remember that there is a season for everything. If you are being led by the Holy Spirit and you are not in a relationship it may be because it isn’t time. Don’t consider settling simply because it’s that time of the year. God is faithful concerning His promise towards you. He will not fail you in regards to a spouse. Relinquish your desire to put this into your own hands and truly (truly) give this part of your life to God.
3. If you didn’t consider them before, why consider them now?
Now that you have remembered the promise, don’t entertain the Ishmael’s. Ishmael’s are men/women who may resemble what God has promised you in a spouse but simply aren’t it. Around Valentine’s you might have people who fit this criteria making themselves available. People who you know definitely do not fit into your purpose and destiny but you start to consider due to pressure. This can range from individuals who aren’t even saved to individuals who are saved but not who God has for you. As we grow in maturity it’s not simply about whether the person appears good, it’s about whether this is God. Many individuals might be good but are they the goodness God has for you? If the answer to that is no, then you shouldn’t consider entertaining someone simply because it’s Valentine’s.
4. Do you know your worth?
If being single makes you feel “less than” then I would question what you base your worth on. Is it truly on the love that Christ has for you? Is it based on the thoughts God has towards you? Your worth is not based on whether you’re in a relationship, your worth is in Jesus hanging on the cross and dying for you. Right now the enemy will try to cloud your head with unnecessary lies but let’s take it back to the Christ- the One who is the King of your Heart.
5. Have you lost sight of the one who matters?
Have you lost focus on the one who has ordained your entire life? He is the one who has numbered the hairs on your head. The one who calls you His beloved. The one who is always calling you into a deeper place of Intimacy and contentment. The one who desires to fill every empty space in your heart. If this period is highlighting broken areas in your identity, why not consider developing a relationship with Jesus. This relationship is important regardless but it is good to start from somewhere; the one who is called ‘the desire of the nation’ is available. The fact that God loved the world so much that He gave His only begotten Son is the greatest love story ever written.
I hope that these questions inspired a deeper level of introspection. If your answers have shown you aspects of your identity that need to be filled with Christ that is great. Let this be the beginning of His love filling every single space in your heart, mind, emotions and identity.
Love you immensely,